Quick Ideas to Look After You
Work like crazy to get all those bills paid and spend time on the kids’ needs without meeting some of your own, and you’ll probably end up a stress-filled bundle of nerves. Prioritising your needs may feel like a complex or selfish thing to do, but the truth is that finding time for your health and well-being benefits not just you but your whole family.
8 Things to Help That Don’t Need Loads of Time
Life with kids is a juggle, and ‘I just don’t have time for that…’ is a common refrain, so here are some quick ideas and mindset shifts to get you going.
Breathe consciously
Take a 5-minute break to breathe deeply. There are many different ways of invigorating the nervous system or calming it down simply by breathing. Box breathing - four counts in, hold for four counts, four counts out, hold for four counts, and repeat is an excellent calming and anti-anxiety method. Search the internet for a method that works for your needs, or download an app.
Make decisions for now
Indecision can be incredibly draining. Decide what will work for you now and schedule a time to review your decision. Decisions don’t have to be forever, so don’t get hung up on having to make the perfect decision. Be aware of assumptions you may be making that catastrophise the outcome. Even when you need to alter big decisions, it can build resilience and lead to positive life lessons.
Take things off your to-do list
We can get mired in doing the same routine, and sometimes, what we do isn’t serving us well. Before kids, we might have ironed everything, but maybe now it’s time to be ok with standards changing. Analyse your tasks to determine what is important and what can shift a little so you have time to look after yourself.
Exercise
Before children, we might have seen exercise as an uninterrupted hour in the gym or time out of the house at a yoga class, but there are many ways to get the heart rate up that count. Lifting a baby up in the air ten times is as good as any weight-lifting; copy a toddler for half an hour, and you’ll have executed more yoga moves than you can count, and nothing beats dancing around the kitchen for cardio. Pat yourself on the back for all forms of exercise!
Listen to yourself
This may be through meditation, sitting quietly, or accessing your thoughts by talking to someone who can give you their full, uninterrupted attention. 5 to 10 minutes a day of self-listening will help to connect you to how you feel and to make priorities. Resentment, guilt, stress, and irritation are sure signs that you need time to focus inward, so don’t dismiss them. If you notice your self-talk is unkind, let those thoughts float away and aim for a reframe. *
Ask for help
Don’t assume that no one has time to help you, that they won’t want to, or that you should be able to do things independently. People tend to be in different places at different times and often can lend a hand when you need it, so don’t be afraid to ask.
Notice the good things you’re doing.
Make yourself your very own star chart. Did you shower? Did you feed the kids (we’re not talking olives and sushi here, pasta and peas count)? Did you dish out hugs before you were fully awake, pat the dog, or smile at the neighbour? Did you hang up a load of washing or unload the dishwasher? Take note of the positives!
Experiment
Aiming to get everything right the first time is a total killjoy. Tell yourself you’re going to experiment and see how you get on. With this mindset, you’ll notice your ability to try new things without beating yourself up if they go a little pear-shaped. Reflect, review, readjust and off you go again. It works from morning routines to bedtimes and a lot in between.
*If you aren’t able to reframe negative thoughts, that’s not unusual; most of us need a little help. Feeling more confident and shifting self-doubt is one of the key things I help parents with, so please book an Ignite Change session to learn more about how I can help you.
