7 Tips to Survive Lockdown (again!) With Kids

The novelty of the first lockdown has worn off, the weather is colder and the pressure to keep things going smoothly is immense. I found using the small windows of free time in beneficial ways hard, so I did some thinking to help myself gain focus and have implemented changes I’ve found make a difference. I hope my ideas will help you keep calm(ish) too.

1.       Bite-sized Self-care

Small commitments to yourself go a long way. Here are few that will help and won’t take a huge chunk out of your day – focus on one each day and add another when you’re ready.

·         Drink plenty of water.

·         Have healthy snacks at the ready.

·         Centre yourself throughout the day with 5 deep breaths, checking in on your thoughts and emotions. If you notice unkind thoughts let them float away with each out-breath.

·         Stretch & move – in between things, raise your arms over your head, twist your back, touch your toes, roll your shoulders, generally wiggle a bit.

2.       Scale Up Self-care

Consider adding some of these bigger commitments to yourself on a daily or weekly. The added energy and focus they generate saves time in the long run.

·         Meditation – there are plenty of apps to help guide you and you only need a short, regular meditation practice to feel the benefits.

·         Journaling – writing down your thoughts & emotions helps break those unhelpful thought loops. Consider adding it to your bedtime ritual or do it together as part of your child’s. Add something you’re grateful for and something small you did that you’re pleased with.

·         Exercise – find an app, a free schedule, go for a walk, run, or just bounce around. Including your child as a weight or exercise buddy is a win-win.

·         Diet – a good diet helps combat stress. Get your kids to help you make the meal plan for the week.  The time for gourmet cooking is probably not now so aim for simple, quick, varied & healthy food. Even young kids can help prep – counting carrots, washing tomatoes, etc keeps them occupied while you get on with the rest.

·         Ask your partner or support bubble for a set time each week, ban chores and use it for something indulgent like reading, sleeping, doodling, colouring-in or phoning a friend.

·         Thinking Time – find a friend, set up a phone or video call, ask them to listen to you easefully without interruption for 5/10 minutes and think out loud. Do the same for them. You might be amazed at how much thinking happens in such a short time with their uninterrupted attention!

3.       Shift Expectations

Under normal circumstances, we hold ourselves to certain standards, but these are not normal circumstances. What can you let go of for now? You can always go back to old standards when the children are back at school or when your extended family are more able to help out. If you proactively decide what can be shelved until things change, it feels easier than just thinking things are sliding out of control.

4.       Create Structure

Both you and the children will benefit from having a loose structure to the day. Be realistic and schedule in interruptions and time for emotional management - both yours and your kids! If possible, ask for certain times to be avoided for meetings, when you are settling the kids down to home-schooling or feeding them lunch for example. If someone asks to call you then, your reasons for saying ‘No.’ are valid! Be proactive about giving attention to your child as it reduces demands for it when you’re unavailable. Deciding on a regular bedtime and getting enough sleep helps everyone stay on an even keel.

5.       Be Curious

It’s very easy to let our thoughts run away with us. If our child fails to sit down to work, our mind zips down the path to catastrophe. Without us being fully aware we are thinking things like ‘They’ll never pass anything.’ ‘They’ll be living with me forever and I’ll have to work until I’m 90 to feed them.’ ‘They’ll end up a homeless dropout.’ Being curious about the thoughts creating our emotional reaction helps us gain understanding and the ability to react more positively. Catch those unhelpful thoughts, have a giggle, chuck them out and instead give yourself a useful question to work with such as ‘If I knew we’ll all be ok how would I feel right now?

6.       Dance, Laugh, Look for Joy, Smile & Hug

There are terrible things happening in the world, but in order to be the best version of ourselves for our family and work and the communities we live in, it helps to choose joy. It might take a more conscious effort at the moment, but noticing the small things that bring you joy like the warmth of a cup of tea or the smell of your kid’s head, helps keep you present and diminishes the power of catastrophic thoughts.  Find ways to have fun and laugh with the kids. Demand hugs from your kids when you need them and smile at them when they walk in the room.

7.       Online Expectations

Be conscious about your online time. We often create imaginary deadlines and crisis. Think about how quickly you expect yourself to return a message and question if that self-imposed deadline is creating unnecessary anxiety. What is your thinking around social media? Do you feel you’ll miss out or won’t know things if you don’t scroll the news or social media – what is the truth, will your life truly be adversely affected? Think about it and make considered decisions that help you reduce anxiety and free up your time.

Above all remember any mistakes you make, any frustration you direct at the kids, any anger you let bubble over, any perceived failures are not irreversible. You can always make amends and repair any ruptures so be kind to yourself!